Ever since writing my first essay—a riveting third-grade profile of Buffalo Bill Cody—I have simply loved a report. Book report, lab report: give me the simplicity of “this is what I did, this is how it turned out.”

Today: a report on my New Habit.

My initial plan

“Spend 10 minutes meditating each day after getting my morning coffee, in my yellow chair. (When I’m traveling, I’ll designate another spot.) I’m cleaning off the yellow chair and hanging a sticker chart & list of meditation ideas next to it. Dabney is my partner; after I meditate, I’ll text her, and she will respond with a star or a GIF."

What I did

I followed this mostly as written, with Xs instead of stickers: the chart was not cute, but it did track achievement (I would like to say “progress,” but we must be honest about ourselves). I only texted Dabney afterward for the first week or maybe two, but she sent me trophies and stars and lots of proud GIFs: extremely gratifying.

How it went

Pretty well, y’all! Like, I now meditate for ten minutes almost every dang day!

Notes:

  1. It must be said: The timing was just right for me to start a contemplation practice. My work is freelance, so I largely control my own schedule. I started in the summer, when everything’s a little looser. My kids are teenagers: this summer they slept late, and they can (usually) respect the sanctity of a closed door for ten gd minutes.
  2. It has definitely been more difficult since school started, and people are in my business—and I need to be in theirs—starting at 7am. I suppose I could arise with the dawn and meditate in the dark stillness of a slumbering house, but my vibe is more “hit snooze until it’s no longer morally defensible to do so.”
  3. Traveling did…not go well. But when I got back home, I got back into it.
  4. I am not very good at meditating yet. I have reeeeeal monkey brain, and any kind of silent mindfulness meditation is a slog for me.
  5. So, because I wanted to make this as frictionless as possible, most days I used the Insight Timer app. BEST DECISION; I strongly recommend it (I have the free version). This sounds like an ad. It is not an ad. Here’s what I use most, in reverse order of frequency:

    * the timer feature: you can set the total duration, an ambient sound (or none), and—I love this—“interval bells,” which ding at prescribed or random times to remind your brain to stop thinking about your grocery list.

    * this sound bath track. Now, listen. “Sound bathing” with “alchemy crystal bowls” is precisely the kind of New Age shit the evangelical church warned me about: “alchemy-crystal your brain right into a superhighway for Satan and any nearby witches!!!”. But my friend Brittney, formerly a meditation skeptic, now swears by bowl-based sound bathing? So I gave it a try and it is very relaxing?? But also variable enough to—like the interval bells above—keep my brain on track??? And so far I think I’m free of brain witches???? (I guess I wouldn’t know, that’s the point. LMK if you think I have brain witches.)

    * guided meditations by Sarah Blondin, who is a soothing Canadian angel. I like some of her tracks better than others; when in doubt, I go to “Our Warring Self vs. Our Infinite Self,” which I've listened to probably thirty times this summer. Again: it is unquestionably granola. And also, I think it has helped me become measurably less angry. It might actually be magic(k)!

Effects

Though I am learning to reject easy before-and-after narratives, I do love results. And I have to say that I genuinely feel saner and softer since starting this practice. Like, my chest cavity feels a bit more expansive; I can come down more quickly from an anxiety or rage high. This is not nothing.

My inner scientist would like to note for the record that obviously I didn’t isolate only this variable; there are likely other contributing factors like a particularly sunny summer and the abovementioned children’s willingness to respect my privacy. And maybe it’s the content of the “Our Infinite Self” track, not the act of meditating daily. But I think it’s probably both.

Conclusions (or, really, working hypotheses going forward):

  1. For habit formation, timing really matters. Here, timing worked to my advantage on three scales:
    * Small: I chose a good habit-stacking plan, putting meditation right after pouring coffee, which I do every day;
    * Medium: I lucked into starting this at a more flexible time of year;
    * Large: I happen to be in a relatively predictable life season. I am unlikely to be interrupted by a toddler with his penis stuck in a marker cap.

    This is not to say that people in less-predictable seasons can’t start new habits. But I do think that controlling for the Small and Medium time variables is extra-important (though also extra-hard) when the Large time scale isn’t working to your advantage. I guess I’m saying: if you’ve got the toddler variable at the moment, I see you.
  2. A daily contemplation practice is genuinely worthwhile. It has increased space and flexibility in my brain and body. I think.
  3. Good-enough is great. I’m not meditating in silence for an hour a day in a dedicated chapel. I’m usually using AirPods and an app, for crying out loud. I usually space out for at least 30% of the ten minutes. I’m not Dharma, and I’m still seeing change. This is a relief, and a gift.

OK, if you tried a new habit this summer, how’d it go? Did it work? Work sometimes? Fail miserably? To what do you attribute its working or not working? You willing to try another round at some point? If we share all the good/bad/ugly, we can optimize this! I think!

LOVE YOU.