Table inspiration
“Eating with others changes a person—at least I know it has changed me. As a good Christian girl and then as an aspiring activist, I have always struggled with wanting to save the world and with being overcome by the cares of the world as a result. And I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that meals have saved my soul. Feasting together with people who have suffered on earth has restored my faith in a God of abundance, even when circumstances point in another direction.” D.L. Mayfield in Vanderslice
Comment highlight
If you haven't dropped a line about this week's essay, I'd really love to hear from you! Is the homework something you're willing to try?
Long comment highlight this week, because 1. Katie is always so thoughtful and eloquent; 2. she's put herself in positions to make "table experiences" far more likely (very much without patchouli); and 3. despite these things, she's still feeling the tension/difficulty and, characteristically, explaining it well:
I too have had some memorable meals with people outside my circle, but so far, they have been in more of an "official" context (pizza party with the students in my GED class at the jail, Thanksgiving lunch and end of the year party with my adult ESL students, many funny and awkward family dinners with our immigrant foster children... I could definitely tell some stories, and you are right that these experiences were adventures!). I guess your challenge is nudging me to think about who I could invite to a meal in a social context...My struggle is to not overthink it or worry about how it will go or what we will talk about but instead to just be present and open. ...There is a tension, and I know my motives won't be perfectly correct, but I think we have to start somewhere, even if we're fumbling to the table.
I agree! Let's start somewhere, with something small that will definitely be awkward and imperfect. The other day I remembered that my best friend's parents invited my family to dinner one summer evening in middle school. They were ultraliberal nonreligious hippies, who composted (!), had a Buddha statue (!!), and definitely smoked weed (!!!)...and we were, you know, the opposite. It was hella awkward, but they were so hospitable and kind and chill (heh), and it was very cool. I'm pretty sure they even invited my dad to pray before dinner, which almost definitely melted my face off my head in embarrassment. I remember thinking that the whole experience felt extremely mature and friendly.
What if we made low-stakes acquaintance dinner parties cool??? I feel like if we acted like it's just something we do, NBD, it might become...NBD. Drop your thoughts in the comments!
It has come to my attention
that you may not have read Raquel D'Apice's feminist magnum opus, An Open Letter to the Female Hat-Wearing Dog From "Go Dog, Go."
Go, girl, go this weekend! Wear the hat!
Love you. xo
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